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Lord of the Flies and the Jerusalem Psychologist

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“I’ve come to a powerful realization. There really is so much goodness in the human heart. We all need to get in touch with this inner goodness. We are, truly, overwhelmingly good.” The psychologist’s (reconstructed) comments from across the Shabbat dinner table were especially jarring as we sat in Jerusalem, a city with myriad of its own monuments to human depravity and indecency, not least the Roman-destroyed stones lying at the base of the Western Wall, the irreparable schism between eastern (Palestinian) and western (Jewish) Jerusalem, and the still-needed automatic rifles seen on every Jerusalem street. That very week, our tour group had to take shelter in a specially-designed bunker as a Houthi missile approached from Yemen. Indeed, only several minutes before this we had been talking about the October 7 massacre, the effects of which our group had already witnessed--a whole street of burned out homes, living rooms with Swiss-cheese-bullet-hole walls and ceilings, a pair of Conve...
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Confessions of a Recovering Legalist

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Last week one morning, I woke up around 4 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. The more I lay awake, the more frustrated and discouraged I became. I couldn't fall back asleep, and I knew that I would likely feel grumpy for the rest of the day.  At long last, I got out of bed, my head a steaming pile of garbage, a whirring train of anxiety and stress. I went to the word, thinking that I would find joy and solace there. Instead, I slogged through a chapter and felt like I couldn't do much more.  That morning, I realized again that I was depending on getting my emotions just right before God to be "okay" with him. That I was hoping for a beautiful, soaring devotional time to feel "right" with him. Out of that realization, I started to journal, and I added to this journaling session through the rest of the week. Here are some of the realizations I came to (or, if I'm honest, came to again for the umpteenth time): "It's almost too good to believe tha...
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Chapter 2: The God of Glory

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The God of Glory The world overflows with unspeakable glory. From the soaring mountain peaks of the Himalayas to the riotous coral reefs of Australia, from the delicatessens of Paris to the pho shops of Vietnam, and from the Great Wall of China to the lofted peaks of Machu Picchu, the world is full of beauty, goodness, and value. Veins of gold lie beneath the ground, and diamonds sparkle in unseen caves. Eagles take to the wing and sweep down from the mountaintops. Muscles ripple down the horse’s back, and majesty lies like a heavy blanket all across the world. And all of humanity clambers after glory. High-rise condos along the oceanfront, the skywalk at the Grand Canyon, a myriad of zoos and aquariums, and the panoply of eateries around the world are a testament to the human push toward the good. We want to be wowed. We wanted to be delighted. We want to get close to the valuable. Indeed, we want to taste the valuable. Go to a glass tunnel aquarium, listen to the children...
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Chapter 1: Heart and Treasure

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Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21). We love the things we find valuable . Our hearts , the center of our love, passions, and longings, will be found exactly where we place the highest value . If we think money is the most valuable thing in the world, then our hearts will love money above everything else. If we consider our spouse to be the greatest, most worthy reality in all the universe, then our hearts will pour themselves out in ultimate love for our spouse. Whatever we place the highest value on (treasure), we will also love most deeply (heart).  God has designed this world so that value and desire belong together. Glory and longing, worth and yearning, beauty and appreciation, loveliness and loving are all bundled up together. Whatever we prize most highly we will also love most deeply. Our rational evaluation of the worth of an object is mirrored by our heart, the seat of our passions. Head and heart--both of the...
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The Myth of Self-Salvation

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The myth of self-salvation lies deep in the human heart. It is a steady, polluted spring that fills and fouls the entire soul. It is an endless mechanic thrumming of the heart, so constant and sure that it is not explicitly stated, but unconsciously assumed. This is the place we feel most comfortable, because we feel in control. We feel that we must be in control to be safe. Christ as our propitiation and righteousness means that this constant thrumming machine is a myth. A lie that lies so deep within the human heart, so interwoven in the fabric of who we are, that perhaps only when we see him as he is will it totally be ripped out of our chests. God's grace, like a sword, must slice this myth from our hearts. Until his Spirit does this, and the silent rest of Christ's cross replaces that sure and certain thrumming, we will live in fear. We will not love as we ought. It's so constant and certain a sound that it drives us to "piety." We can perform a lifetime of g...
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A Weekend in Minneapolis

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I spent the past weekend in Minneapolis, visiting the always-delightful Peter and Erin Wadel, along with their two sons, as well as some of the Afghan students I taught two years ago.  Several days before I flew out, I developed some stomach sickness that lingered into the first several days of the trip. Thanks be to God, it didn't end up hindering my time with students and friends too much. Because of the stomach problems, I did tell A., one of my Afghan students, not  to prepare food for me when I came to visit. Nevertheless, when I showed up at his door along with Peter and his son, it quickly became clear that not only would we have the requisite snacks, but we would also have a whole meal. Heaping plates of rice and beef were plunked down before us, along with sweet pudding and the regular snack tray of almonds, candies, and other assorted nuts and fruits. And, of course, tea. Green tea, this time. I chose to risk it and ate a good bit of my rice and beef, and drank some ...
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Control and the Cross

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There comes a quiet lie As sure and solid as the concrete     beneath my feet That I must control and assure my happiness. I have to do it,      for no one else will. My joy is     in my hands. But if joy was our achievement, and we had to protect it, ensure it,     nurture and increase it, Then Christ would have slipped out back     of the Garden of Gethsemane. He would have called ten thousand angels, destroyed the Romans, and arranged himself a kingdom. He would have lain down on a feathery bed     in an ornate palace and fed himself on the finest fare. But he trusted God     for the joy set before. He yielded himself to God,     and to the hand that strikes,     the whip that shreds,     and the hands that      bang, bang, bang     nails into his hands. Our joy is in God's hands,     so we can die. Can sleep. Can serve. Can love. Can forget ours...
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